Planning a traditional Jewish wedding can run you ragged and wear you out, but it’s worth every minute of the stress when you can look back on having the perfect wedding day to start your marriage.
As with many things, timing is very important when planning your Jewish wedding. Both Shabbat and the holidays are unacceptable for weddings. However, many couples choose to have their ceremony at the end of Shabbat for symbolic reasons. The end of Shabbat, havdalah, can be chosen to symbolize the end of the single life and the beginning of the new life together, so some couples have their ceremonies then. Another popular wedding date is Rosh Hodesh, being the celebration of the new moon and their new life.
Selecting a rabbi can be difficult. A cantor can perform the wedding, too, or anyone who has the education and training to conduct the ceremony in keeping with both religious and civil laws. Your local synagogue will be able to assist you in finding just the right person to officiate at your wedding.
The marriage contract, the Ketuba, can be as modern or as traditional as you like. It’s up to you since it is a binding contract that you must agree to. The witnesses are up to you.
The Huppah is a matter of your own choice, as are many other aspects of your wedding. A spring or summer wedding is idea for flowers as the covering. Or the traditional squares of cloth, provided by friends and relatives can be quite beautiful. It’s up to you.
Yarmulkes, of course, must be worn by all the men in attendance. It’s not unusual for the happy couple to have their names and wedding date inscribed on the yarmulkes and give them as gifts to their guests. Whether the fabric is silk or felt, the inscription makes a wonderful memento!
Being apart for the week before the wedding is a long-held tradition as is the mikvah (the ritual bath). Fasting on the wedding day is another tradition, but some couples prefer to have a light meal before the ceremony so that nobody faints.
The Kiddush can either be purchased for the wedding or borrowed from family members, if it is an heirloom. As you drink from it, under the Huppah, you can either honor family customs or create your own heirloom for your children to use one day.
No Jewish wedding is complete without the breaking of the glass at the end! Whether you buy an inexpensive glass (after all, it’s only used once and then it’s shattered!) or get a glass made of fine crystal so you can save the pieces to make a mezuzah as a lasting artifact to commemorate your wedding day, you need to decide ahead of time.
Both the rings and the wedding clothes can be found in most cities and the selection is almost unlimited!
Once all the details are taken care of and the big day nears, it’s a little easier to focus on the week of celebration, visitors, gifts and food that follow. |